17. A set of those cool CD turntables so I can start my third half-assed career as a DJ.
....You know how all over LA people get paid to do things you wouldn't think people got paid to do? Well, paying someone to play records that everybody knows without breaks in between them is one thing (because that is hard to do when you're drunk) but paying someone to play records that they like but don't particularly contribute to the mood of the party, basically, just, like, sucks. There should be some sort of licensing test for DJs. Also visual artists. Also Colombian assassins. (I'm drunk.)