11.10.2014

17 Horrible Things That People Say Because We All Want Love But Are Idiots

Don't say these horrible stupid things. Ever. Don't text them either.

1. "I love women." What the hell does that even mean? Everyone loves women. How could you love all women? You think it's some sort of strange condition that you love women? You think it's an interesting thing about you? It is not, because loving women is a very common thing. What you mean is you are pathologically interested in having sex with as many women as possible, but for some reason you say this other thing. 

2. "He looks lonely." He does not look lonely. You have no idea what a lonely person looks like. You want to go talk to the tall hottie who is brooding in a corner, playing the I'm-complicated-and-hard-to-get game that he learned from a Pickup Artist technique book. You're walking away from an actually lonely person to go talk to a player. Fine. Say that. Don't tell me that he looks lonely and you're going to go fix that because you're such a nice person you solve all the problems of the lonely people in the world. Fuck that. If you care so much about people being lonely, stay here with me. "Didn't think so." - Louis C.K.


3. "..., period." What, you ended all human communication with that period? That period means you are right? All your preceding words are empirical truth because you said "period"? "Cats are avocados, period." Um, still not true. Period.