6.26.2004

The Last Piece of Sushi (a film by Bernardo Bertolucci with Tom Cruise)

EXT. ASIA

Three pieces of sushi sit beneath the falling cherry blossoms.

KAPPAMAKI: The old ways are dying.

FUTOMAKI: The old rolls are dying.

TOM CRUISE ROLL (AN ORPHANED TIGER SHRIMP DESPERATELY TRYING TO SURPASS THE LEGACY OF HIS LEGENDARY FATHER SHRIMP, AVOCADO, AND CREAM CHEESE): Westerners are so stupid.

KAPPAMAKI: I have dreamed of a modern Japan. With a powerful sex industry, and DVD players that are better than anyone else's DVD players. Now we have Dragon Rolls, Chicago Rolls, Bacon-Wrapped Low-Carb Alfalfa Rolls. But we must never forget....who we are.

FUTOMAKI: Who are we?
(impales self in stomach)

TOM CRUISE ROLL: You are a beautiful people. SAKE! SAKE! SAKE!

TAMAGO (BEAUTIFUL EGG NIGIRI IN FEMININE SEAWEED WRAP, WITH CREAM CHEESE): Dozo, Tom Cruise-san.

TOM CRUISE ROLL: I am...sorry for colonizing your beautiful country.

TAMAGO: Bite me.

TOM CRUISE ROLL: I'm not that sorry.

FUTOMAKI: The tempura! It is...perfect.
(starts to croak)

KAPPAMAKI: Let us die!
(impales self on sword, dies)

TAMAGO: For a dream that was Japan!
(impales self on sword, dies)

TOM CRUISE ROLL: Me too!
(impales self on swollen male member)

FUTOMAKI: And a child shall lead us.
(dies)

TOM CRUISE ROLL: Haha I was just kidding. I'm still alive.

FADE TO BLACK.

6.23.2004

I call every show on FX "FX."

....heard while deplaning in Burbank. It's always the same. Arriving back in LA after being anywhere else quiet like Berkeley or West Texas, makes life instantly seem more hectic, even though fewer important things are actually happening. People are so much more on-edge, rude, and dramatically insincere here. And all the things they're worrying about, the rings they're trying to kiss, the events they're driving 90 mph to get to....total and utter cowpie.
...I will say however that there were some great hits of the 80's playing over the PA at the Burbank airport. "She Bop" and Bobby Brown's "Theme from Ghostbusters II," for example.
...Also went to the LA Filmfest tonight to see a good indie movie.

6.15.2004

I really need to get rid of this virus.

Fascinating. Hyperlinks in my last entry on hot button words like "casino" and "computer," but I didn't put them in there, they just appeared. What happens if I used the word gerbil?

A few things I've learned to be true.

1. Ramen does not taste as good when you make two packs at in one pot.
2. Rich people are as likely to be idiots as poor people. Actually, more likely, because the wealth dulls their instincts.
3. Leaving the casino is ALWAYS a good idea. There is never a bad time to be leaving a casino. Once you get there, you should leave.
4. There is not quite enough ramen in one pack to satisfy me. They should make them 1.5 times as large.
5. I am never going to be employed as a website designer.
6. Models are better than computer animation.
7. There are many words in the English language that are just taking up space. Among those words are "edgy", "gritty", and "just."
8. This Happy Mie Mi Goreng Spesial ramen is the finest ramen on the planet. If only they made the 6/5 size serving packs.
9. Blogs and cell phones make it more difficult to communicate anything to anybody. Email, however, works.
10. I'm not really sure what the Lord of the Rings is subtextually about, but it has something to do with white people winning.

6.13.2004

Just finished a cut of the trailer. I think it looks pretty cool, although it's difficult of course to know it conveys enough to someone who doesn't know what the movie's about, namely every person on the planet except me. I really need to learn how to do color correction.

6.02.2004

Just got back from Marfa, Texas, where my old friend Jake got himself married. Lovely place. And that Texas BBQ is no joke.