A few thoughts on giving, since it's the season of giving. Giving is a lovely thing, but it can be dangerous. In the anime "Spirited Away" there's a character called No-Face who pathetically offers gold and treats to whomever he meets...and if you take it, he opens his fanged jaws and eats you. Only one girl, the hero, avoids being eaten, apparently because when No-Face offers her something, she politely refuses....whether it's because she was taught not to take candy from strange shadow monsters, or because she simply doesn't need it, it's not clear. Anyway, it seems there's some comment on the politics of giving and receiving going on here, albeit fantastically exaggerated. The problem here is obligation; the perception of a debt, whether it's felt by the giver or the receiver. "True" gifts given out of generosity and love ostensibly won't have debt attached, but many cultural systems from Hollywood to the Mafia to Chinese extended families work on the system of mutual obligation for "solids" performed. The difficulty is telling when you're inside one of those systems. It seems like a simple thing to say that giving is just giving and shouldn't cause drama, just like tasteful begging shouldn't....but it does. I don't know if it's living in LA, or the economy, or just people getting a bit older, but I never in my young life imagined that the past year could be full of so much friction and heartache and general baloney over things like a) people giving something and feeling like they weren't getting anything back b) people giving a gift they felt wasn't appreciated c) people needing something but not wanting it given as a gift for fear of obligation d) every other damn situation you can imagine.
....I'm guilty of it too. I guess the policy should be to give out of love or general empathy and forget about it immediately, so that the political significance of the giving doesn't become more than it really is, for giver or receiver (of course, both have to agree to forget, so....scratch that).
....In any case, in this season in which I am particularly needy (though only in the sense that I *need* to make my indie film which is way different from needing food or clothes), I'm resolving next year to practice only healthy, responsible, giving and highly respectful receiving, 'cause really, if you've ever seen that kid in the movie "Better Off Dead," you know what I'm talking about. $2.