even in dreamland, chaste

I had a dream I was going to have >ahem< let's call it a reckless carnal encounter with an archetypal 20ish blonde girl....yknow, the type of person who is just beating down my door in real life...which is funny because usually my erotic phantasma involve people I at least sort of know, ANYWAY, there are three people lying in this bed, and me and the girl are about to embark on carnality, but then I feel kind of bad because there's this other guy in the bed and I think maybe he likes her too or else why are we all sleeping in a bed together? So I back off a bit.

In that moment of hesitation, the whole dream changed. I'm thinking, let's just go to another room. But we can't go to another room because my sister arrives. And then my mother. Just as quickly they disappear, and are replaced by a couple of my good friends, whom I'm ordinarily very happy to see. And then there is word of some sort of contagious medical crisis and we have to go to the Salvation Army and buy supplies before we leave town. Unnamed idealized cheerleader girl is still along for the ride and there is still the vague idea that a tryst is going to happen once we're all settled. But then someone in our ragtag crew has to go shopping so we have to wait for him.

Then, seriously, zombies attack. Mass chaos erupts. People in the streets, setting fire to buildings. We have to run away and jump into a truck as radioactive lumbering beasts are clawing at us. We speed away in the truck, hoping that it has enough gas to get us out of the city. Around this time I'm thinking that Melrose Place girl and I are never going to have a private moment and I should've just bitten the bullet when I had the chance.

Then I woke up. Really, it was like "The 40-Year Old Virgin" crossed with "28 Days Later." A big, fat, encoded, neo-Freudian mofo of a dream.

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