Asian-American Guy Problems VS. American Woman Problems

This is the clearest way to explain it I think. #AsianAmericanManSplain

2 types of people with glasses. Yet a chasm of experience separates them.

Asian-American Man Problem	American Woman Problem
Nobody seems highly interested in dating me.	Every weirdo in every bar seems highly interested in dating me.
I live in a culture that considers me subordinate and docile.	I live in a culture that considers me subordinate and docile.
I am the least-preferred ethnic group in online dating.	I joined a dating site and got 20 pictures of genitalia in the first minute.
I don't talk about the racism because it's not sexy.	I don't talk about the sexism because gaaaaah it's too everywhere.
People assume I'm weird.	People assume I'm meat.
Since Mad Men came out I feel pressure to be an Alpha Bro I would never want to be.	Since Mad Men came out I feel pressure to date successful alcoholics.
I am the least-married ethnic group in America.	I've been married twice already, it ain't all that great.
I am very anxious about being nice but not seeming "too nice."	I am very anxious because everyone who's nice to me also has an angle.
On other hand, the police are usually pretty nice to me, based on a cultural profile I have no control over.	Police are usually pretty nice to me, based on a cultural profile I have no control over.
When meeting someone I have to devote energy to both appearing sexually interested and not seeming like the weirdo they are expecting. It's exhausting.	When meeting someone I have to evaluate both how much they want to use me for sex and an exit strategy even if I sort of like them. It's fricking exhausting.
I eat meals alone with my phone.	If this guy attempts to pay for my food, does he think I owe him a hookup?
I wake up alone.	I wake up next to some douche.
Every opportunity for love is kind of a big deal.	Ever opportunity for love with a non-stalker is kind of a big deal.
If I lived in New York I could get a date because they're more racially open-minded there.	If I lived in Los Angeles I could get a date because the lonely dudes there outnumber me 5 to 1.
Things might go easier if I was gay.	Things might go easier if I was gay.
James Franco, John Mayer, also guys with beards.	Katy Perry, also girls with nice hair.
People are very surprised if I karaoke Prince, even though Asian guys invented that karaoke shit.	People are very surprised if I karaoke a song that isn't pretty or flattering.
Although I have my own preferences, people expect me to just go for whoever's available after Don Draper has chosen.	Although I have my own preferences, they are distorted by the availability of dudes who will evidently humiliate themselves for my attention.
Because of TV stereotypes, people expect me to be really good at tech. I'm not.	Because of porn, people expect me to be really good at handjobs. I'm not.
Once, I was just standing around and made someone very uncomfortable by clearing my throat.	Once, I was just standing around and was invited to a threesome because I adjusted my shirt.
I recognize 100 different ways of being written off.	I recognize 100 different ways of being hit on.
I know who I want but she has never even considered the possibility that the Asian guy has functional baby-making equipment.	I don't know who I want, but I am pretty sure it is not all these people who want me.
I actually speak way better English than you.	I actually speak way better English than you.