Bambi vs. Godzilla II: Bambi's Revenge


Godzilla and Bambi, talking in a bar.

GODZILLA: How's it going?

BAMBI: Why? What do you mean? Are you some kind of stalker? Don't you have anything to say? DON'T TRY TO HAVE SEX WITH ME! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?

GODZILLA: I'm lonely. And I'm an Asian monster.

BAMBI: Both those things are unattractive, demographically speaking.


BAMBI (unsolicited): I feel really comfortable around you. For example, I've never told my boyfriend about the six months I spend in a Turkish prison. There were no daisies there, only rats. Have you ever eaten rats?

GODZILLA: Grrrraaargh.

BAMBI: Before you growl further, let me set down the ground rules: I want to subvert the oppressive gender roles that over the years have raised my defenses to this nigh-impenetrable level of apparent insanity.

GODZILLA: What if--

BAMBI: DON'T TALK!! It's NOT SEXY. God, why can't I find any good guys?

GODZILLA: I'm a very good guy. Why do you treat me like a monster when I'm always defending you and your city from the real monster threats? And then after the Ghidrah or Hedorah the Smog Monster situation is taken care of BY ME, it's back to, "Oh no, it's Godzilla, he'll destroy everything!"

BAMBI: You know you love it.

GODZILLA: Grrrraaargh.

BAMBI: Well, at least you're tall.


Bambi Vs. Godzilla I:


chicken said...

I love that Bambi is gay, too. Nice touch. :-)

dm said...

Huh, I meant for Bambi to be a girl, as in all those girls named Bambi. You're right if he's a gay guy it's a totally different and funny reading.