Having slacked off most of the day watching the 3-hour recut of David Lynch's "Dune," i realized that I needed a plan lest I succumb to the temptation to spend the Rest of My Life sitting on a futon watching that masterpiece of a movie over and over again. Because that's what "Dune" is about -- having a complicated, devious plan to control all life/spice in the universe, and that's what I'm lacking. So I came up with six different plans, each a potential fallback of the other.
PLAN A: conform screenplay-writing and filmmaking to commercial/intelligible standards, risk financial ruin, make big movie, receive big accolades, quit job, find chick, become disgracefully-well-paid cog in Hollywood ego machine
PLAN B: maintain job, fret over financial security, devote efforts to making more money, buy snazzy household appliances, find normal chick, become normal
PLAN C: get back into theater, make stressful but spiritually-rewarding art, let house fall into ruin full of rehearsals and scraps of sets and props, probably find some really insane chick, repeat emotional failures of the years circa 1994-2001
PLAN D: maintain job, maintain casino- and Los Angeles-induced neuroses, and write novel about them (the novel being the most cost-effective and relationship-free art form that I can see)
PLAN E: concentrate all efforts on finding chick, which is probably the area in which I need the most improvement anyway. And by chick I mean...you know...soulmate.
PLAN F: learn how to play bitchin' guitar solos
I feel on much better footing now that these 6 practical, executable, totally contradictory plans are in place. And now when something falls through, instead of having existential crisis, I can just utter the magic words, "Well I guess it's time for Plan B/C/D/E/F." I've always really wanted to say that, anyway.