everything would be just fine if....

1) I never dreamed about work. Dreaming about work makes me feel that I am old and my imagination has decayed. Also, letting thoughts of those horrible people into my private time feels somehow like a major violation.
2) I was somehow selected to write and direct the Green Lantern movie.
3) I learned to look on the bright side; there's really a lot to recommend my current life, including a regular job, a place to live, some artistic accomplishments, ridiculously good health. If I merely focused on all the things that were Not Wrong all the time, I would be a pretty self-satisfied smiling bastard.
4) Someone would hurry up and fall in love with me.
5) I was not envious, or jealous (I get those confused). Although I realize that the grass is always greener, I still get twinges of anxiety over other people's accomplishments, possessions, charms. I'm the most envious person I know. I envy people for having crap I don't even want, and girlfriends I would never be able to stand.
6) I had an invisible force field that could protect me from harm.
7) I had another, internal, invisible force field that protected me from the side effects of drug & alcohol consumption.
8) I had a decent shotgun mic to go with my DVX100.
9) They brought back "Misfits of Science."
10) All you needed, really, in fact, and without any need for second-party validation, was love.


Elize said...

hi there.. was just surfing the blogs.. saw the mention of The Green Lantern.. I did a superhero test, and i am The Green LAntern.. thought it was funny

dm said...

why, i wonder, are you the Green Lantern?

Elize said...

I have no idea>. just thought it was funny :)

espressodog said...

Dom -

A particularly thought provoking blog entry which promoted me to craft my own list.

Rachel’s “Everything would be fine if . . . .”

1) My dreams weren’t more entertaining then my waking life. I have been having very cinematic dreams of late. Complete with happy endings.
2) I was asked to work on the next winning democratic Presidential campaign.
3) I could learn to be satisfied with what I have when I have it.
4) I would hurry up and get over him.
5) I was not covetous. I want his job, her haircut, those shoes, their relationship, her moxie, his elloquence and better skin.
6) I had an invisible jet or futuristic transporter technology so I didn’t actually have to endure the plane rides that are necessary to get to beautiful destination.
7) I had my old metabolism, so I could eat what I want and not gain weight, get sick or have to pee all the time.
8) I had the new Macbook.
9) They brought back Buffy.
10) All you needed was in fact a master’s degree. Because, I am getting one of those but I fear that in fact it will change nothing but my credit score.

dm said...

sounds like we have some of the same anxieties! let's work on our lists together so we can move on to have new and different things to complain about.

myself i'd be happy just with the existence of a "winning presidential campaign."

does your credit score really improve when you get a master's degree?

Anonymous said...

i just read this and took it to mean that her credit score would get worse, because of the debt incurred by graduate school.

espressodog said...

Comrades in disfunction!

Anon is correct. If the master's degree does not result in a fabulously new and higher paying job then I am going to default on said graduate school loans and ruin, what up to now has been my near perfect credit rating.

So, to get started on that list I going to start a letter writing campaign to revive Misfits of Science. I am sure there is an untapped fanbase just waiting to be mobilized.