a poem about lunch

i love going to school
i love those two kids kissing in the courtyard
i hate coming home
i miss the conversations
i like long, long silences
i love my misinterpretations
i like to think that
i missed a chance
and i changed very little
i hate my lunch
i like dopamine and depression
i love failing completely
i love anticipatable futility and
boy oh boy do
i love consequences
i hate the moment
i love thinking about
all the bad things that will happen
i imagine places on the memory map
i try to summon color and sensation
i like falling
I love working towards falling
i love the never-ending job
i want to work every day
until something happens to me.