10 things you know Kerry is going, "I kinda wish I'd said that instead."

1) "Did I mention that I actually was in a war? You know, that thing that you declared for no good reason, so that other people could go and get killed? It's not like you invented that, you know."
2) "I couldn't agree more with the President that we are indeed fighting the White War...I mean, sorry, the Right War...at the White Time. Oops, I did it again."
3) "Could you please not use the phrase 'hard work' so much, considering we're both like, rich as Croesus?"
4) "I'm sorry I mumbled that last sentence, I was worried about appearing as insincere as the President when he does that 'talking down to your level' thing."
5) "Don't even LOOK at my daughters, you scummy old perv."
6) "I'll just take this time to again mention that I actually was in the armed services during Vietnam, which is an excellent way to learn about what happens in a war."
7) "I had prepared a nuanced retort to your lies, but rather than saying it out loud and confusing people, I'll just mention that it's all up at my website, johnkerry.com."
8) "What do you know about offense? Have you ever been shot at? That's when you have to play some D."
9) "I know you've said that you will never stop defending America. But do you foresee starting anytime in the near future?"
10) "If you even mention the word 'leadership' again I'm going to take command of the nearest swiftboat and run it aground upside your head."


Kristen said...

No joke. Every time he said "it's hard work" I wanted to scream. Perhaps we should go easy on the poor fella. It's hard work sending people to the slaughter for no good reason!

Anonymous said...

i just want them all to stop sending mexican midgets - i mean mexed missages...

RishiBoy said...

heh.. that's funny.