The Justice League Movie, if it were exactly like The Avengers Movie.

In honor of ComicCon 2012, here is an abridged screenplay for the Justice League movie, modeled entirely after The Avengers movie, because that seemed to work very well.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA

a superhero team screenplay 

by dommah

EXT. DC UNIVERSE
Near Martian rocks, some MARTIANS plot. 

MARTIAN LEADER

We're going to attack Earth.

MARTIAN SOLDIER

Why?

MARTIAN LEADER

Ah, the H'ell of it. Give them something to do.

INT. BATCAVE
AMANDA WALLER recruits BATMAN.

AMANDA WALLER

Come join the team.

BATMAN

I'm sulky and complicated...my father....

AMANDA WALLER

Bitch, can you just get in the jet? I've got like six of these today.

The Avengers: A Brief Film Guide For Non-Nerds, Hipster Cineastes, and (Generally Speaking) Women (AMENDED)

A) I wrote a guide to the Avengers film for the You Offend Me You Offend My Family blog, aimed at viewers unfamiliar with the Avengers. In it, I forgot to mention one very important point of potential confusion.

THESE AVENGERS ARE NOT THE BRITISH AVENGERS FROM THE 60's TV SHOW, AND BLACK WIDOW IS NOT EMMA PEEL.

Uma Thurman as an Avenger and Scarlett Johansson as an Avenger. 

Although one could easily see how they'd get confused.

B) Read the rest of the guide here.

C) In theory my guide is a little less sexist than the similar "Girls' Guide" that Moviefone has here. (Also, it's more accurate.) Of course, many girls are Avengers fans. No informed person would claim otherwise. It's just safe to say that it's not most of them.

Diana Rigg as the original Emma Peel from the British spy show, '"The Avengers."
Like Black Widow, she was good at disabling foes with her pincer-like thighs.

ERP, recollected.

Back in the day, we had a theater company called Emerald Rain Productions (ERP), with the elegantly simple purpose of putting on rock musicals written by me and my songwriter buddy Gaby Alter, whose every cough is some sort of catchy pop hook. It was the best of times. Here is a mock-rock-doc about our adventures, captured in completely antiquated Standard Definition video, painstakingly Final Cutted by me.