what happened?

what's wrong?
why don't you just be related to someone famous and tell everyone about it?
why don't you just make six figures and forget about it?
have you tried spending sixteen thousand on figurines and jeans?
why don't you quit your job and live in the woods?
why don't you make fun of others? you'll feel much better.
what are you crying about now?
why don't you just take some time off?
where's your self-confidence?
what are you scared of?
are you scared to see me?
what's the worst that could happen?


I recently picked up my guitar for the first time in, oh, five years. I was expecting not to remember anything, and to be further impeded by the fact that my ears have definitely worsened over the past five years of doing the casino job (eight hours a day of people screaming and shaking a brass dice cup take their toll). But surprisingly, although my hearing is measurably worse, my musical ear seems to be a little bit better. I managed to pick out a few Beatles songs that I never would have attempted before, since I am afraid of those songs written by actual musicians who use tricky chords and stuff. Of course, it's possible that with the weakened hearing, my pickings just sound acceptable because I can't discern that they are wrong.

I also notice that my habit of thinking too much often gets in the way of my listening. I'm trying to amend this by watching old movies and paying attention to what's happening. This sounds like duh, but it's more of an exercise with the old movies because the spoken dialogue tends to be richer and more pointful, and also one has to take into account the cultural differences of the period.