ep 85: symphony of light

So this is what happens:

The Invid launch hella shock troopers against the returning RDF fleet.

Corg owns Scott in a dogfight and then takes out a bunch of other Alpha fighters just to drive the point home that he owns people.

The RDF fleet gets ready to fire off Neutron-S missiles to decimate the Earth's surface, because that seems like a really good idea.

The gang hangs out with the Regis and watches the battle in space. They see the Shadow Fighters launching towards Reflex Point. They appeal to the Regis for a peaceful solution. How boring would these series be if they ever came to a peaceful resolution?

Marlene asks Scott if it's possible that he could love her. She plays the "I feel so strange whenever I'm with you" card. I like when aliens use the word "strange" because they don't know the word, "horny."

Rand and Rook get in their Alphas and attack Corg. They are acting all couply now. This is clearly why they get trashed. (Never underestimate the battle prowess of a single unloved Invid simulagent.)

Corg breaks out of Rand's full nelson because Rook doesn't want to shoot him? Because he's cute? Wha? Anyway...

Scott comes back in the Beta Fighter. It's Blue Hair vs. Blue Hair to the death.

Scott beats Corg finally with some arcane mecha-fighting move. It's difficult to explain how, but, big surprise, it involves launching about THREE DOZEN CLUSTER MISSILES AT HIM.

Scott: "All this destruction means nothing." Well, unless you have stock in the Cluster Missile manufacturing companies. Then you're making out like a bandit.

The Regis decides to move on. She speaks of "a world that even now calls to me." No other discussion of what that world might be.

The RDF fleet admiral decides to launch the neutron missiles, like a big military-industrial douchebag would.

Sera and Lancer mecha up and repel the attacking Shadow Fighters. The Shadow Fighter battloids don't have much in the way of heads. Curious aesthetic decision.

The Regis absorbs all of Reflex Point and her entire race into a giant energy phoenix and leaves Earth. No packing boxes or moving trucks for this one. That is when you know you're dealing with advanced technology. The phoenix annihilates the neutron missiles and most of the RDF fleet on its way out. Isn't that convenient?

Lancer does a final concert in a slinky orange dress, singing "We Will Win." At this point, perhaps it should be redone as "We Have Won, Alien Bitches!"

Scott says his goodbyes to the gang, because he'd rather go roam around in space looking for Admiral Hunter then stay and make sweet love to Marlene, who has gotta be tired of wearing that jacket at this point. I Don't Know What's Wrong With That Guy!!!

Lunk announces that he wants a farm.

Rand and Rook talk about their future, which will probably involve babies, fishing, and occasional cleaning of the old arm cannons.

Lancer whips off the dress and reveals himself to be a guy, shocking his amassed fans. (Not only that, he's screwing a green-haired alien fighter pilot....but oh, in this universe, that's more socially acceptable.) Again, this is a pretty great moment of gender-bending to occur in a cartoon aimed at pre-teens in the '80s.

As Scott leaves the planet, Lancer closes with "The Way To Love." In my mind he comes back for an encore of Pat Benetar's "(Stop Using) Protoculture As A Weapon."

Last shot: Lancer's song playing, Scott's Alpha/Beta fighter flying off towards the moon, and somehow Scott ejects Marlene's holo-locket out of the fighter so that it falls back towards Earth. How did he do that? Maybe there is one of those little chutes for disposing waste like in airplanes? I guess that for those long trips in the Veritech they must have some way of getting rid of their poo. Kinda makes you wonder what they did in X-wings, doesn't it? (Do not, in any form, attempt to respond to the question.) Of course in Star Wars they had the astromech droids to clean up all their shit. Anyway, digressing, the closing image leaves it wide open what the hell Scott's doing with his life, as well as what Lunk's gonna do on his farm with a yappy dwarf teenager and a heartbroken hottie unemployed alien double-agent. Perhaps they'll grow tomatoes (that transform into kitties).

Preview of next episode: a return to the beginning of the Macross saga, episode 1, "Booby Trap."

And with that, my childhood ended.

ep36: to the stars

The fourth-most heartwrenching ep of the Macross series, after "Farewell Big Brother," "The Big Escape," and "Force of Arms." 'Cause it's the end, and a whole lotta people die, and by that time, you knew that was just how this series rolled. You understood that you have to get people to sign your yearbook, in case something happens.

This was a weird one because as a kid I didn't know what was going on with this series. Its unprecedented merging of 3 original series meant NO ONE knew what was going on. I looked breathlessly forward to the "In the next episode..." segment as any devoted TV watcher does. In the next episode, we were going to start a WHOLE NEW EPIC. What? With a chick with a blonde afro? Mom, I don't get it. Is it over?

Since most series I'd followed up to now were episodic and non-teleological (I think that's a word), it was a big shock. That is, Spider-Man, G.I. Joe, Ultraman, et al., didn't really go anywhere. They were self-contained and predictable with no long-running storylines. Spider-Man doesn't even experience time, when you get down to it, that guy has been 23 for 40 years. But digressing...Robotech was my first experience with a long-running story where you learned and changed with the characters, and then the world utterly transformed, and you learned to go with that new world too. So it was a lot like...growing up.

***This I reconstructed all from memory because this VHS tape doesn't even HAVE episode 36 on it. Someone had a real life to tend to that day, I suppose.

ep35: season's greetings

Minmay makes a Christmas booty call on Rick. Or it seems like a booty call, and then it's just blah blah blah, my fame, my career, everybody wants me, "my life is a song," my cousin wants to marry me, me me me. Jesus, Minmay! Get a blog why don't you?

I also just wanna point out that the news agency on the TV Rick watches is called "N.W.A." Nippon Hoso Kyokai With Attitude?

ep34: private time

Piano instrumental of Yellow Dancer's closing song for the series, playing BG at Rick and Minmay's date. Never knew that.

ep33: rainy night

Rick asks Vanessa the nerdy bridge officer girl out, spontaneously, to prove to Lisa that his personal life is personal. Vanessa spills the beans, telling Rick that Lisa's crushed out on her, and Rick doesn't believe it. I forgot about that scene. It's great.

Also, Khyron and Azonia get drunk and make out while eerie music plays. Something creepy about that too.

Also, there's a weird scene where a battloid lights a Zentraedi's cigarette with his rifle. Just too much going on in this one.

ep32: broken heart

This one gave/gives me that icked-out feeling. Something about the way Khyron plays with Minmay and Kyle when they're his captives. It's just sick. Like he's gonna dip them in honey mustard sauce, while she's still singing. Maybe it's because Khyron kinda reminds me of a foppish, predatory Brad Pitt. Oh wait, Brad Pitt wasn't invented until the 90's. That's not possible.

ep31: khyron's revenge

This episode is too political for me. A lot of debating over the Protoculture chamber. I liked it better when Protoculture was this ethereal concept, like the Force, or the Birds & the Bees.

The fight where Khyron steals the chamber is pretty sick, though. His mono-boob battle armors take those Destroids to town. Damn! Sucks to be you brown Veritech! I'm Khyron, Micronian Bitches!

ep30: viva miriya

MIRIYA: Max, do you think there's any chance Rick won't consent to touch lips with Lisa?
MAX: Don't worry, Miriya. Rick's a professional.

I can't stand it....I just can't stand it...

This is also the ep where Miriya takes her BABY in her JETPLANE and uses it as a shock-and-awe weapon against the enemy, as part of a three-pronged attack involving kiss, disco song, and cute Hapa baby! Aiiiighhh! There will be no survivors!

ep29: Robotech Masters

NARRATOR: "What a change this is! From ruthless warlord to somewhat uncomfortable host? This mission is getting stranger all the time!"

...as is your narration, dude. I think they were stoned while dubbing this one.

GUY IN CAFE (leering at Lisa): Ooh, check this out Fred! Oooh. Boy, the women were dealt all the aces. They can have anybody they wanna have.
LISA (V.O.): That's all you know about it, my fat friend. Here's one woman who would trade every ace in the deck for one Rick Hunter.

Oh, Lisa. Lisa Lisa.

You are going to be played by Laura Linney in the movie and there's nothing you can do about it, you stoic angsty willow of a woman you.

ep28: reconstruction blues

Lisa: "Why does his bedroom always look like someone's been sleeping in it?"

I dunno, Mr. Macek. Why does my bathroom always look like someone's been bathing in it? That was either a brilliant line or a not-thought-out one...or, like most of my pickup lines, BOTH in ONE!

Lesson Learned From Robotech #27.1:

Planetwide devastation sets a romantic mood.

"You can do it Minmay, remember today you're singing for everyone!"
"Yes I know but I just want you to understand I'm really singing for you!"

Although this dialogue sounds like something Gwen Stefani probably says backstage all the time, if there is a just God, Minmay will be played in the movie by Kelly Clarkson.

ep27: force of arms

It's on. This episode has the unbelievable awesome that makes you want to shed tears of geekiness.

It's so awesome it has an Orguss in it.

It's so awesome, it has a Minmay song that is not "Stagefright."

It's so awesome, I forget my problems and prance around the house going, "We WILL win. We ARE all stars and we see that! I am a fucking HERO. I am footloose AND in the danger zone. Yeah!"

It's awesome because in the end it's all about love.

ep26: the messenger

All of Minmay's songs sound like a slow jam by Surface.

This ep is pretty hilarious.

Breetai: "This woman has a voice that can make a man feel sorrow."

DELIVERY SO FUNNY GOING TO DIE LAFFING. Auugh.

Max is majorly my hero.

ep25: wedding bells

The narrator SNICKERS in the opening: "But now Max faces a different problem. After all...heh heh...what do you say to a girl you met just a few hours ago." Are narrators supposed to be dirty old men? Or have a sense of humor?

Miriya girls up pretty quick, with the pink dress, losing most of her appeal.

ep24: showdown

Armored Veritech! Sooooo cool.

Max challenges Miriya in the arcade, because THAT'S how you get the cool chicks.

The voice actor for Miriya really knows how to bring the sexy.

Kyle lets the press know he want to propose to Minmay. GOD that guy is a douche.

Claudia prods Rick in the direction of Lisa. I'm just summarizing now. This liveblog is a big career move, honest.

ep23: reckless

Rick and Lisa have this cute scene of taking care of Minmay's folks' Chinese restaurant amidst wreckage.

I wonder if the Battlestar Galactica people watch Robotech? The formula of space battles with the emotional beats of soap operas seems distinctly similar.

The dialogue is really sharp in this one. The scene of granting the three spies political asylum. Rick, to the attacking battlepods: "Go Home! Sorry, Commander, that didn't work."

God this show is good. I wish my Prius transformed into something.