web presents

I'm working on an MC Frontalot video right now, but I didn't realize til today that the "Yellow Lasers" video I made with Jen is already on Ifilm as well as other musty corners of the web. And it's only gotten, oh, quadruple the views as my other short on Ifilm.

It's described as a "fan video," I assume because of the Asian preoccupation with pretty fans with flowers on them. No, seriously, parts of the video are a bit hacky in retrospect. And those guys in the stormtrooper armor? Have no idea who they are. I hope they don't sue me. I'm only a fan.

In other nerdy news....and I really don't have the words to describe how much I feel about this....there is a new Robotech series on the horizon.

O. M. G.

living dangerously vs. not

This is my Big Theory of Life for this week: when you have love in your life, a stable relationship, the peace of someone waiting at home for you, life becomes much more pragmatic. You focus on doing things correctly, accomplishing your errands, maximizing convenience for yourself, because all that matters at the end of the day is getting back home alive and going to sleep next to your companion. When you don't have that, you can live life a little more dangerously, and even if you don't, you are always aware of the possibility that you could be. The "emotional content" (to use Bruce Lee's phrase) of the things you do is a little more important. Mostly, you interact with other people with a little more eagerness, a desire to impress perhaps, the attempt at least to make every interaction a significant one. Whereas, if you're coupled up, other people are exactly that: other. You still interact with them of course, but your heart does not hang on every word they say. If they piss you off, you can probably get over it. If you piss them off, you might not even notice.
....When I'm by myself, the desire for experience is keener. I want to stay out late, take long winding routes to get places, plan elaborate ways of doing something simple. And lately, I hate sleeping.
....Of course, this theory varies a lot depending on how stable your relationship is, or how boring you personally are. A tumultous romantic relationship causes a lot of non-pragmatic things to happen. A single person does not necessarily take any risks with their daily routine.
...I'm sure these brilliant insights were made possible by the fact that I put my underwear on backwards today.

be careful what you wish for

...today I was driving to work having my usual preparatory commute fit, thinking about how no one at the casino ever apologizes to me for anything. Which wouldn't be a big deal except that they're wrong, A LOT, and I'm right, OFTEN, and they (being the clientele) throw abuse at me EVERY DAY. Of course they also act horribly towards each other, but their disputes are usually settled quickly with a perfunctory, "I'm sorry," not because anyone actually is sorry, but because you never know whom you might have to ask for money later in the evening. (It's like that; everyone ends up being friends) But there's no advantage to be gained from apologizing to me; to do so would be to admit culpability, or responsibility for their actions. They feel it is part of my job to be screamed at, coughed on, cheated, threatened, condescendingly chastized, and generally put in my place, and it is.
...so I sit down at work and within the first five minutes of my shift, a guy reaches over me to place a bet and nails me right in the eye with his elbow. Hard. Like, a good mugger-disabling move. It didn't hurt a lot, but I was afraid he'd broken my glasses, and said something like "godDAMNit."
...He immediately apologized. Genuinely. It was a complete accident, he was this drunk Peruvian fellow, and he was very very nice about it. I didn't know him, but he's one of those kind of players who I actually like, a working-class recreational drinker/gambler who lives in the real world and can actually recognize when they've inconvenienced someone. That is, a non-sociopath.
...So I finally got apologized to at work, and all I had to to was get hit in the face. Be careful what you wish for.

a wee lil poem

slow learner
heartfelt department
platonic lockpick
fruitless giftbasket
runaway scenario
oneshot mentality
lifespan shortening
dreams of
insanely plain
innately consonant
nicknamed confidante
fool sufferer
crisis sister
crush nexus
alcohol cadence
skin epiphany
smart remarks
come back and
then some

this is my first meme

I was tagged by Kristen.

ONE (1) earliest film-related memory:

Watching "Star Wars" with my Aunt Ling in Fresno. Actually, not watching it, but coming back to the house after watching it and dancing all blissfully around the kitchen, singing the theme music, with lyrics that went something like "Star Wars, Star Wars Star Star Wars, Sta-a-a-arrrrr Wars, Star Wa-a-a-rrrrrs."

TWO (2) favorite lines from movies:

"Who wants some?" - Bruce Campbell in "Army of Darkness."

"Do you want me to dress like Thor? I'll dress like Thor." - Catherine Keener in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."

THREE (3) jobs you'd do if you could not work in the "biz":

Anything Consultant
Laundromat Supervisor
Video Store Clerk

FOUR (4) jobs you actually have held outside the industry:

toy ad copywriter
search engine query parser
comic book translation adapter
proposition player

THREE (3) book authors I like:

Donald Barthelme
Thomas Harris
Kurt Vonnegut

TWO (2) movies you'd like to remake or properties you'd like to adapt:

Daniel Pinkwater's "The Snarkout Boys & The Baconburg Horror"
Green Lantern, Iron Man, Batgirl and/or Spider-Man. Spider-Man really could be done better.

ONE (1) screenwriter you think is underrated:

Aren't all screenwriters underrated except for the ones who are truly horrible?
OK, Steve Martin. He's not exactly unsung, but the screenplays for "Roxanne" and "The Jerk" and "Bowfinger" all qualify as some pretty good shit.

I don't know anyone to tag.

I realize that i'm sort of a "hater" but i try mainly to hate on the powers that be. My friend suggested that i could be a "hate consultant," or, as Tom Hanks phrased it in the movie "Punchline," a "hate stylist." I could advise people that instead of wasting their hate on the immigrant grocer or the undertrained barista or bad cell phone service, they could usefully direct that hate towards the corporation or government institution or rich bastard that is probably responsible for it all. 'Cause hate for me is very close to love, so it's not something to leave completely out of your life.

suredik

...so somebody commented on my hypothetical X-Men 3 parody that I "sound like a dick."
...I know that it's too much to hope for, but I really hope it's Brett Ratner or someone who works for Brett Ratner. It would just give me so much schadenfreude to know that this rich and famous guy responsible for some of the crappiest movies of the last 10 years (although I admit I find some of his Mariah Carey videos strangely compelling) has nothing better to do but search blogs for people who talk shit about him, and respond to them anonymously.
....of course, it's probably just someone who thinks I am a dick, which in itself, would be nothing newsworthy. And here I am on my day off with nothing better to do than blog about it. Ah well. Hm. Sigh. Maybe I'll go eat some food.

getting over it

Getting Over It is the right thing to do.
But the fact is if I Get Over It I got nothing.
Dead inside and overcompensating outwith.
Frustration comes from the suspicion that
all my married friends with kids and pets
know something that I haven't learned.
Do they? Can I take that class with a stranger?
I've Gotten Over lots of Its.
It's part of growing up.
But never mind if It is unattainable, delusional,
samsara or simply a stupid idea,
It's the thought that lets me look
forward to dreaming.
It goes away as time passes
like everything I used to know.

06

New Year's Eve was so-so, but the night before New Year's eve was pretty fun. New Year's Day was also a blast. I went with a friend to Fogo de Chao, the Brazilian chain steakhouse that is possibly the most enjoyable somewhat-expensive eatery in the universe. Everything tastes fresh and wonderful and the service makes you feel like the most popular girl at the party. They have a great system involving a little button with red and green sides that sits on the table next to your plate. It looks like a coaster, but it is the most powerful coaster in all carnivorous cuisine. When you flip the button to the green side, waiters with glistening roasted meat on skewers descend on you from all sides and offer you wonderful cuts of beef, lamb and chicken that they cut with long knives. When you flip the button back to the default red side, they leave you alone to eat. It's a marvelous thing, keeps the food fresh and in reasonable proportion to your plate. It's a button that they should have everywhere, I think, never mind all bars and restaurants. It would make all interactions easier. You know how you're in a store and you can't get the salesmen to stop talking to you? If you had the red button up, they'd know to just sit back and let you browse until you flip to green. And it would completely revolutionize the social interactions at parties. There are plenty of times at parties when I'm by myself purposefully (red) and then there are times when I'm by myself awkwardly and wish someone would try to talk to me (green). Of course the system would break down there because all the serial killers, rice queens and career scuzzbags would start looking for the poor lonely wallflowers with their green buttons and mob them instantly. But if they came bearing hot garlic-encrusted slices of steak, I guess it would still be OK.

Top 10 of 2005

Of no particular genre, these were my best moments of the past year.

1. The SUV ad in TA91: Never mind that it's cheap, indulgent and about to be one-upped by a scene in "Southland Tales." Still the most satisying piece of moviemaking I did this year because it's wrong in just the right way.
2. "The 40 Year Old Virgin": If there was another worthwhile American movie that came out this year, I dare anyone to name it. I'm sure there were some good movies made in other countries that we'll see in 2007 or whatever.
3. Kanye West at the Hurricane Katrina benefit: "George Bush doesn't care about black people." At last someone on TV says something that is indisputably true. We used to have people who said shit like that in large public forums all the time. In a time when speaking up for the oppressed is being forced out of fashion, it was better late than never.
4. Winning 100K in one shift for the first time at work: Not that I get to keep any of it, but it was still a thrill.
5. Fell in and out of love a couple times: Painful but gratifying to know that the emotions still work.
6. Bought some mutual funds: No big whoop, but it was a mini-epiphany to finally take responsibility for making my own money grow. And they're doing great so far. At this rate, I'll be able to save $50,000 by the time that $50,000 will be worth what $10,000 is worth now. Anyway, short of buying a house that I can't afford and don't need, it's all I can do at the moment.
7. Turned 30: WTF.
8. DJed at the dayshift Xmas party. This was just pure fun. If you've never been at a private party with a bunch of 30-40something Asian card dealers, you haven't really lived. I got to play this ridiculous Korean pop song for Yunah and "Blasphemous Rumors" for my boss. Big rush.
9. Got a Prius: the perfect LA car, which, according to the media, affords "non-class-specific status" (because movies stars and regular hippies alike drive them) and also "gives the appearance of caring about the environment." (because obviously if you actually cared about the environment, you'd ride a damn bike)
10. Murtha denouncing the war in Iraq: Another minor moment of outspoken courage in a year when most, including myself, did less thant we could to fight the gigantic fraud that is the current U.S. administration. Of course, it's not our job to tend to such overwhelming crimes. It is Murtha's job, and he's one of the only people who seems to be doing his job with the interests of the real working majority of American people close to his heart.

overheard at the table

Tonight this pleasant-enough drunk Armenian guy kept repeating to himself and to basically everyone on the table:

"Do you have a problem? Because if you don't have a problem I can give you a problem, no problem."

and also:

"Do you have a problem? Because if you have a problem I have no problem."

The guy was clearly some kind of drunken genius, because in these simple paired mantras he perfectly captured everything one needs to know about the gambling addict's worldview with respect to other people. I guess that's why they call them "problem" gamblers.

moment of completion

Well, that TA91 business isn't done yet, but I just finished a video short. I kind of like it. I don't know if anyone else will.

....on another note, has anyone noticed how easy it is to make a President Bush headline? I think the form goes like this: "Bush [insert strong active verb here] [some totally generic statement / some flatly ridiculous claim]." I think this is why every time I check the news blurbs it's something like:

"Bush vows war is winnable"
"President asserts liberals weaken resolve"
"Bush attacks critics who are all gay"
"Bush demands peace in the near future"
"Bush declares tomorrow to be after today"

....in case the point is not clear, it seems to me that someone is working really hard to keep up the President's appearance as someone who Does Strong Things. Maybe it's just good journalism to use all those powerful verbs, but they sort of distract from the fact that Bush never really does anything that relates to the regular people who read this news, except, of course, send them to their deaths. I'm sure the President IS really active in his off-camera time, making deals, hustling on behalf of the elite, consolidating power, etc, but they never write about that. Instead we get crap like "Bush defends intelligence" which not only leaves out the information that made it a news story in the first place, but is so coyly inconsequential you can't really form an opinion about it. It's like, Bush defended what? A human right? An underserved minority? No, no. He defended a statement. In fact, he demanded, asserted, and bitch-slapped that statement up and down the block. What's it gonna do? It's a statement.

another really great movie: "Girl 6"

Most people seem to hate "Girl 6." It's one of those movies that gets one star in the back of TV Guide. I'm not sure why. It's definitely a little pretentious, and you can argue about how much Spike Lee has to say about women's liberation from the phone sex industry. But the script is by Suzan Lori-Parks, who is one of those playwrights too daringly crazy to write any kind of proper cookie-cutter screenplay. It's beautifully shot, as most Spike Lee movies are, with a particularly, appropriately sensual palette of saturated colors and music-video compositions. It does that thing which pretty much only Spike Lee bothers to do anymore, which is show people of different races and classes co-existing in a world where they have to interact despite their beefs, because they're mainly working-class and don't live on Wisteria Lane. And there are many a piercing moment; the obvious ones such as when Judy the aspiring actress has to strip naked for an audition, or the lyrically beautiful shot of phones falling around a kissing couple on a New York street. But where some movies would satisfy themselves with a few such easy, manipulative images, the movie also has powerful intertwined themes; one of the most resonant to me is that feeling you get of being addicted to your job which is making you a whore. I'm sure a lot of people are in touch with this feeling, but for whatever reason it's one of Spike Lee's most reviled movies. And yet it has a soundtrack of classic Prince, for god's sake. The acting's all solid and none of the dialogue is embarrassing.
...It does suffer from a few too many subthemes crammed into one flick, and for that reason I chalk up its general critical and popular rejection to the David Lynch Rule (there's surely a much better name for this rule but I can't spend the time to find it). That is, people hate things that seem "weird" unless they're by David Lynch, who for some reason owns the only Weird Brand in cinema. People expect Spike Lee to be agitprop and indie, but they don't expect him to be subtextual and floaty and of all things, pro-feminist. So, because it does a few unexpected things, it's Just Bad.
....Did I mention that people are idiots? People are idiots.